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«  Lifeless Soul  »

Title: Lifeless Soul
Author: Shadow
Fanfic Site: http://winglin.net/fanfic/hatred/
Reviewed by: BeautifulColours@SweetenMemories


Title 5/5:
The title intrigued me as a reader, I would certainly click on your title ^^


Poster/Background: 3/5
Background is good because it doesn't make your story hard to read but maybe a darker hue will match the mood of your story better. I like your poster too but perhaps a smaller one would be better. (at first when I saw the 'L' I thought "Death Note?? L?" Hahaha XD)


Forewords: 7/10
Your summary is short and straight to the point, it kinda revealed your plot. Even so, your last sentence made me (o.o)? Which is it?


Plot: 10/15
Typical plot. Scene is commonly used. It was well written that it's interesting to me. =)


Originality/Creativity: 8/10
Actually I'm quite surprised she jumped there. I guessed the ending and I was wrong. It was still a common suicide story I guess. I love how you explained things in her diary. Good job =)


Flow: 7/10
One-shot is a one chapter story but it doesn't mean that the length of the chapter must be short. It was too sudden for me.


Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation: 10/15
There are few mistakes. Most are 1st draft grammatical error. It can be avoided by rereading and double checking it =D


Characterization: 10/10
Character's emotion is showed very well.


Writing Style: 15/15
I love your writing style. It's descriptive and made me feel as if I'm watching it instead of reading it.


Bonus: 4/5
I enjoyed reading your story. It's always a love story in winglin so your story is refreshing in a sense =) Keep up the good work! ^^


Total: 79/100

Wednesday, November 24, 2010